What are the stages of love? || from This Modern Love

About 1.5 years ago, I got my hands on a book that seemed to perfectly capture the stages of love, from beginning to end (if you're unfortunate to reach that end). I wanted to share some truths that I got out of that book called This Modern Love by Will Darbyshire. 

Just a little backstory about me and my relationship with love... I've always been curious about love, what it entails and what it means. According to Disney movies, the prince perfectly sweeps the girl off her feet and they live happily ever after, so I carried this notion that this happened in the real world in a sense. I thought things fell into place that easily. I was young! And naive. No one taught me what a romantic relationship was all about, but it is important to understand it, so you'll have some guidance through love. 

This Modern Love is not your typical book written by one single person. This book is a collection of letters submitted by people of all ages (12 - 81) around the world (98 countries). It tells the stories of what love can be and what heartbreak feels like. 

I loved the collectiveness of thoughts and feelings bound together in a book, because it revealed the simple fact that we are all connected and we all think and feel the same feelings. We share similarities with one another, and that understanding isn't always so obvious when we're living day-to-day and not giving much thought to this idea.

Not to give away too much of the book, I featured some of my favorite truths that reflect love's stages. You should give the book a read! It reveals valuable fundamentals of love. If you like reading relatable stories or experiences, you'll probably enjoy this book as much as me. Here are quotes from the book.

Stages of Love //

beginnings

• Giddiness: The giddy feeling continues throughout your life and it doesn't wear away. At 45 or 85, you will experience the giddiness just as you did at 15. 
• Your feelings grow & you're stuck on them: Something changed when I got to know you. I suddenly realized what people were talking about. I liked you more than I thought I could ever like someone and I wanted to spend every waking moment with you.

-

 forelsket: a Norwegian word for the euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love 

-

middles

• You learn the language of love: [Relationships] teach us to be better. We have to be more selfless and giving. We have to think as a team...a constant [effort] to understand each other.
• Your troubles make "us" stronger: Anyway I'm glad I bumped into you. Cuz all those little bumps we get helps us stay intact.
• The love keeps growing in every way: Love is still ever blossoming.
• You miss them: When you really miss your person, remember your love for him/her, which will remind you why he/she is worth it. And think of what it'll be like when you meet again, so you can look forward to something happy.

These experiences revealed the truth that in a relationship, you learn what it means to be patient, strong and independent. 

endings

• The author reflected honesty: For whatever reason it may be that things didn't work out, it is the lessons learnt that will live on and will help guide us all to the next person, and maybe the right person. Somebody who will help mend and reinforce, rather than break and weaken.

my favorite confessions in the book — because I see it in my own love

• We have been through so much together...and after it all you still wake up every day with the desire to make me happy.
• You made me feel safe and important, like my words and feelings mattered.

--- Finally, I noticed a beautiful pattern in the thank you letters. Time and time again, one person thanks the other for loving them. As humans, we want to be understood and truly loved. I believe that love can last on and on, as long as there is a desire to love one another, to understand one another, to make the effort to help and care for one another. As long as these elements persist, love does not have to fade or end. Love can be a forever thing.

When you love someone, they live in you.

For more inspirational books, check out my post about my top inspirational book choices here.